Get the Church out of the bedroom!
Oh, I can hear the logic, now. That’s impossible! We are the Church! Now, what we need to do is just follow along, here.
Within the Church, there are those who over-legislate sex among just about everything else. They make rules for frequency, positions, men being in charge, lights out, only in the bedroom, only for procreation…blah, blah, blah.
Where did these rules come from? As far as I can see…pretty much seems they are made up.
What about, “Be fruitful and multiply”. Doesn’t that mean sex is only for procreation?
Nope. There is no indication, not a hint…nuttin’ that gives a clue for that idea.
As for any of the other stuff, it is like someone was afraid of what sex could be and thought it to be something wrong. There are no limits…whatever position, wherever hands go and whatever they do, oral stuff…all good. Sex once a week, three times a week, or ten times a week…all good. Before children, as parents and into senior years…all good. Whatever makes it good for the couple, is all good.
Bed half empty.
I heard a rather sad statistic…about half of married couples are NOT having sex. What?! If we were to believe TV and movies, it would seem everyone is having sex fairly regularly. But, then it stops sometime after marriage? NO! Whatever opportunities a couple has should be spent enjoying each other. There is nothing wrong with a couple who wants to be a bit slutty with each other.
Whoa! Did you just use that word?
Yes, I did. Get over it. For that matter, if you are married, get over it, under it, on top of it, beside it…or whatever works for you and your spouse..as often as you can. Go ahead and be a little slutty.
Geez, he said it again.
Mayest thou get over thyself.
Here is a bit of information that people tend to forget. The whole good feeling, liking what you see, all the good touching, getting all fired up and all…God created that! He made us that way! You know what else? He totally approves of whatever fun you like to have, too.
After all those kids and pizza.
There is that issue of body image. Women are especially sensitive in this area. Well, ladies, if your husband still likes being with you, even after all those kids and a few helpings of cake and potato chips, enjoy the ride. It’s nice if you can stay or get back in shape, but if that guy is still warm for your form, then go and let him warm you up.
As time goes on, sexy takes on all new dimensions, with the help of gravity and maybe a few extra donuts. And birthday cake. And everything between Thanksgiving and New Year. Don’t sweat it. If one of you is getting a bit spongy, likely the other is, as well.
It is not dignified for people over certain ages to engage in such relations. Anyway, people lose interest after the years go by.
Really? Abraham and Sarah certainly were a fun pair, then. I doubt they were honeymoon marathoners in their platinum years (at their ages, they passed golden years), but it seems they still had a reasonable fire in the furnace. Let’s put it this way…if you are of certain senior age-range and still can and want to…go forth and enjoy!
Now, I am not opposed to losing weight and/or staying in reasonable shape. Honestly, I think that sex can be more enjoyable when two people are less “girthy”. And, when I say, ‘reasonable shape’, it means we don’t have to go all crazy at the gym and all that. But, that we should be able to enjoy our time without a trip to the ER afterward. Out of breath after the big event…expected. Wheezing like a dying animal for just getting your clothes off…may want to make some changes.
A few more thoughts.
I just shared Anna McCarthy’s most recent post on depression (Just a Jesus Follower). I think that many of the demands placed on people (by Christians) also affect what goes on between husband and wife. Honestly, I think the reason so many people are not enjoying sex is because of everything around them. Not only do we have many two-income households with children and all their demands and activities included, but in the Church we have many demands, as well. We have to serve this much, we have to obey this way, we have to walk this line, our marriage has to appear like this, our demeanor has to look like that…and on, and on, and on. We have been pounded with doctrines that have reduced us to often worrying what God is thinking of us, whether He is disappointed in us and even if we met some sort of condition to earn His love for us. This does not encourage active snuggle time.
God loves you just as you are. Warts, flab and all. He created us just the way we should be. He created the sexual urge and did so for more than just procreation. If you have been missing out on some good times for a while, maybe it is time to sit with your spouse and discuss the idea of getting back in the saddle, again. Maybe it is time for me to stop using such corny metaphors. In any case, people need to feel free to get as nasty with each other as they see fit for themselves.
Here are the only real rules – First, the marriage bed is un-defiled. Second, do not deprive on another. Actually, these are not so much as rules, as they are declarations of the freedom to be with your spouse the way your spouse agree and enjoy being with one another.
If anyone wants any homework…well…you can make up your own assignment.